Today I have been trying to get taxes ready, going through receipts and looking at dates and Doug's handwriting, it's been a tough day. I get to the point where I think I am doing really well, then it hits. At least it doesn't feel like I am drowning and it doesn't last as long but it's so hard. And with Andy being gone, it's just a hard day.
I read your blogs and I feel like if I write this down for you all to see then you will feel sorry for me and I don't want that. Just letting you have a look into my life today. Not too pretty of a picture, but that's what it looks like, at least for today.
Bible Study tonight was really good. Coming home I was listening to a CD that Andy Gray loaned to me and just sang along (at the top of my lungs) and cried it all out to my Loving Heavenly Father who knows how I am feeling and who catches my tears in a bottle, I don't know why, it's what the Bible says "Psalm 56:8 You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book?"
I am not trying to make you feel bad for me, just letting you know this is me today. In a few minutes it may be all turned around. I never know. I am however, so glad to know the Living God who changes not! In Him I put my trust and hope!
It's not pity...it's compassion my friend. We love you and would rather you remain the "real Kathy" every day of your life. Be yourself...you are loved.
ReplyDeleteLinda couldn't have said it better, and I fully agree. We love you every day.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you, MOM. I struggle with the same feeling of not wanting people to feel sorry for me.....but i realize that when you hurt, i hurt...the same with all our dear friends that love us. I want to know when you hurt because I care. I love you! See you in the morn!
ReplyDeleteOh yes Dear Sister, I feel love for you only! My heart swells up with your pain, because I too in my "own" way loved Doug and to share your pain just a little, makes me realize how Doug touched all of our lives! He lives in heaven and a part of him will always live in our hearts until we see him again!
ReplyDeleteKathy, We love you and what everyone says above is so true...Doug touched all our lives and to know how much we miss him we know you miss him so much more. Someone once told me that when you see a penny on the ground it is a penny from heaven that someone is thinking of you...I did that with my mother...when I saw a penny on the ground I felt my mom was thinking of me...You wouldn't believe how many spots I found a penny in my home..I would laugh where I found them and I would murmur MOM! I think the poem was called a Penny from Heaven...A penny always brings a smile when I see one... Love you Kathy...(((HUGS))) Lisa
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