blah blah blog ;)

Sometimes that's how I feel blah blah blah, just running off at the mouth about nothing in particular. Tonight when I was at Holly's birthday celebration :) the subject of blogs came up and we were talking about blogging about the most random of things. Sheila said when you haven't blogged in a while it's like where do I start? Then I said or if you are really not doing anything it's blah blah blog :) we thought that was a good title. . .

I have had a very blessed day and a very rough day. Blessed in the fact the Lord woke me up early to spend time "casting my cares upon Him" and knowing I was heard! Hard in the fact that the tears just would not stop today. My eyes are so sore from crying and my nose is sore from wiping and blowing :(

Prayer tonight was great. Marlys said it was a 3 kleenex prayer night. For me I think it was 5/6 and that was just one hour! But it was a very blessed prayer time and again, I KNOW we were heard.

I am so thankful for my beautiful daughters who faithfully help me, cry with me, laugh with me and just love me. And Liz even if we have not physically seen each other or even talked on the phone in a couple of days I know you are there :) My wonderful daughters Robbyn, Sheila, JoAnna & Elizabeth - I love you!

I have been missing Doug so much today. It started in the night when I dreamed he was kissing me in all the different ways he used to kiss me. I woke up crying. It was such a good dream and yet knowing I will never be kissed by him again was, well you can imagine, kinda.

There were some laughs today too so it wasn't all tears but the majority of the day was spent sobbing. I am feeling very overwhelmed but I know God is using all of this for His greater purpose. I remember praying on the way to church Sunday (along with a song - that is dangerous - don't say I didn't warn you!) Lord break my heart with what breaks Yours. Is this part of that, probably, but this is just a tiny bit of what breaks His heart. My rebellion is one way, my wanting my own way is another, my looking at the things in my life and saying it's not fair is another way, my wanting to just give up and cave is another instead of trusting Jesus to see me though is another, I could go on and on and you could probably make your own list. I know I break His heart in many ways and for those ways, Lord, I am sorry. Help me to live repentant.

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him. Jesus said this to Nicodemus in John 3:16-18 the Message

Anyway, that's my blah blah blog for tonight. I pray for you, reader, that you may know and understand the love that Jesus has for YOU. I am learning more and more about His great love for me day by day.